Good Things to Come

I've been feeling overwhelmed this past week.

Part of this is due to my heath. Once again my old companion the migraine has rejoined me. I spent two long days confined to my bed, wracked with pain so intense that I was rendered nauseous and incoherent. The pain was so consuming and powerful that I couldn't even comprehend what my children were saying to me. I admit, that is a frightening situation....like literally losing one's mind. When the pain subsided at the end of the day, my children recalled conversations they had had with me earlier in the day. I had been awake, but held no recollection of our interactions. I'm so very thankful that my sister was here to step in and take over the house those days. I don't know what I would have done without her. The days this week that haven't been destroyed with migraines have been still plagued by constant headaches, just not the completely debilitating sort. I used to get migraines frequently, but it's been a few months since the last one.

I have really enjoyed the long absence of this old acquaintance, and I give it no warm welcome, yet there is always a positive outcome of each of these interludes. During the pain, my spirit feels intolerably trapped in a defective shell, and my deepest desire is simply to escape...to set my spirit free from the pain. After the episode subsides, it leaves me contemplating my life and the gift of my body. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I even have a body, no matter it's weaknesses. I feel a renewed wonder at what a marvelous creation each body is. I think about what it would be like to be without a body; to be only a spirit without power to embrace those I love. I am always left with a deep desire to hug and hold my children, and relish the feel of their warm bodies wrapped in my arms, and smell their hair and touch their soft skin, and shower their faces with kisses. I am also left with a heightened desire to use my body to accomplish good things; to work while I am able and not waste time distracted with meaningless diversions.

Medicine does not help ease my pain, and many times just makes things worse by adding side effects without reducing the severity of the migraine. As a result, I've had dozens of faith-building experiences that have cemented my testimony of the power of the priesthood. Man's knowledge of medicine cannot bring me relief, but a priesthood blessing can. There have been many times where the pain and all symptoms where completely gone literally less than 5 minutes after I was administered a blessing. In one powerful blessing, I was counseled to bear this affliction with patience because the Lord had chosen this trial for me so I could learn from it. I have learned a lot about so many things, but it's the type of learning that fails to be adequately captured in words. All I can really say is that it really has blessed me and forced me to refine my stubborn soul in ways that perhaps wouldn't have happened in any other avenue of my life.

I keep trying to learn whatever I can from this affliction. I figured if I can glean knowledge quickly enough from this trial and grow from it, then perhaps the Lord will stop sending me the same lesson. I must be a slow student.

This video is what has helped me keep optimistic this week.