Priorities

Our family art project this week. The windows are full of hearts!

I've been absent a lot from this blog lately. I've found an interesting phenomena happening this past month. My heart has been changing in so many ways. I think they are changing for the better.

I've kept a printed copy of this talk about priorities in my bathroom for a long time. I would read it and think about it each time I visited the bathroom (which honestly, happens a LOT with this pregnancy). I've also had a copy of this talk about motherhood in there as well. Since I spend a lot of time there each day (I think I would win an Olympic event for the highest number of bathroom trips each night!), I've been getting very acquainted with the gems of wisdom on those pages.

I've asked myself a lot of searching and sometimes difficult questions. What are my true priorities? What do I spend most of my time doing? Am I using my time to focus on my real goals, or is most of my time being wasted on petty distractions? I was disappointed to discover that most of my time was spent on things that don't really matter. (This is one of the reasons why I haven't been blogging much lately.)

I've found out several things about myself this month, and I've made some tough choices that I hope will improve my time management and realign myself to my most important goals.

One of these regards face painting. Remember this post when I wished I could focus everything on aggressively pursuing a body art career? I used to feel so competitive in that market. There was a frantic feeling within me, that I HAD to go to more festivals or I was missing big chances to earn a lot of money. I was constantly thinking about how to get more business. I realized that I was not focusing on my family as much as I should. Prime face painting gigs are always on weekends and holidays- which is the prime family time. I realized that I was missing the opportunity to create life-long memories with my own children just so I could make a buck or two. It sounds pretty pathetic, doesn't it? I thought so.

I don't really care for the face painting gigs anymore. IF I want to do them, I do. But I no longer feel obligated to accept every job that comes my way or actively promote myself or seek work. I'd honestly rather be with my own kids. It's funny- I was hired to work for the state governor's inauguration party last month. It's the biggest event of the year with 10,000 servings of free 5-star BBQ to the public (remember, this is Texas- nothing important happens without BBQ) and prestigious clientèle (who wouldn't love to pass around your name to the state's Senate members and top politicians?). My agent told me it was a big deal to be picked to work for this gig. Honestly- I didn't even want to go. Not a bit. I didn't care how much they were paying me. Isn't that an odd reversal from my feelings a few months ago?

As I've prayed about my true priorities, surprising things have changed. I haven't even read a book yet this year- I feel like there are so many other more important things to delight in. I've started focusing more on helping others, teaching my children the principles of good character, developing my own faith and testimony more, and delighting in family time more fully. I've felt much happier than I have in a while (although, it was really hard to feel cheerful during the 3 months of my hyperemesis...that may have something to do with it!).
I feel more energized and positive as I focus on what really matters. 

Sarah reinventing hopscotch this morning. 

I'm really looking forward to Valentine's Day. The Lovers' Holiday is also my anniversary. It will also be the 20-week mark of the pregnancy: we're halfway done! We also get to find out what gender our baby is (even though Nathan and I already think we know what to expect. If we're wrong, it will really throw me for a loop!)

Tonight my lover and I are going on an early Valentine's date. We're enjoying dinner (if it's my pick tonight, we'll eat some nice Indian food. But I always pick the same cuisine- maybe it's Nate's turn to decide.) then we're going to Latin dance lessons followed by dancing. Doesn't it sound lovely? Actually, I don't really care what we do. Whenever I get to spend time with my darling, I'm happy. Some of my favorite dates were just walks along a lake enjoying the sunset and chatting. Everything is wonderful when I'm with him!