Force for Change

Matthew and Sarah battle it out over a chessboard

I've been doing a lot of waiting. Waiting....

I have waited for the post-partum fog to clear so I can pick up my pre-baby habits again of excercising regularly (for now, I feel exhausted just thinking about excercising!), organizing closets and deep-cleaning the house (um....I won't even tell you the last time I deep-cleaned....), reading my scriptures with a cup of steaming herbal tea for company (yeah. Now I am lucky it I can snatch a few verses in the morning, or squeeze in a bit of reading right at bedtime. I haven't returned yet to the "deep pondering" type of study. I call it the "Try-to-keep-awake" study. Pathetic, I know.).

I know this time of my life is a special season to enjoy our baby (and the accompanying work: midnight feedings, dealing with his teething pains, endless diaper changes- why did I choose to do cloth diapers?) and it will soon pass.

I know I will miss it, so I'm trying to enjoy this stage of his life as much as possible.

We cuddle and play a lot. But I'm not progressing in other ways....I feel like many aspects of my life are paused, waiting for me to renew my attention (spiritual health, phsycial health, social health, etc.)

I"ve been waiting for the post-partum-baby-season to pass, so I can feel accomplished again.

I realized that I can't wait forever for things to change. I realized the Lord won't just magically make me competent again. It's up to me.

 I need to be the force for change in my life.

I'm trying.

This week I started new projects that I can look at and admire and feel like I DID something with my time. (I don't know about you, but cleaning the kitchen never makes me feel like I have something to show for my time being well-spent. It's all undone in a couple hours when the next meal is prepared. I have a hard time with that...an endless cycle of cleaning. I'm just spinning wheels and getting nowhere.)

I feel so fulfilled when I create something, so that's where I am starting. I haven't created anything beautiful in a long time (not counting those Christmas paintings I made....those were more stressful than fun. Yikees....I just remembered that I haven't posted pictures of those paintings yet. Okay, I'll get on that.)

I am indulging in the creativity bug that has recently bitten me. I'm painting the boy's room (finally!) and decorating it. I made a huge painting (the largest canvas I have ever painted on...I've had it sitting in a closet for YEARS, trying to decide what to do with it) and let the boys each make one painting to hang on the walls.

I"ll post pics after I get it finished (who knows when that will be though? I am the Sidetracked Queen of Inefficiancy!). The children really enjoyed making paintings with me (while I for my part, also ignored the need to make dinner. Leftovers, anyone?)

We painted the walls an energetic green (think of Green Apple candy) and went for a dinosaur theme. 

I'm pleased with how things are progressing in their bedroom and I can't wait to show what we've done.