A scary storm and what I learned about trusting the Lord

Sarah exploring a Texas river. 

A couple years ago, our family was traveling home from a visit to Georgia. We were driving through the night when we were caught in a violent storm. High winds buffeted our van, making it difficult to drive. Large hail battered our vehicle with deafening noise, making us worries the windshield would crack. Visibility was reduced to a mere four feet as the air full of freezing raindrops. We strained to see the faint glow of the tail lights in front of us, even though they were less that 5 feet away from the taillights as cars inched along the highway. We were traveling through the countryside in East Texas, where there are virtually no towns and no street lights.

The weather worsened and tornadoes were forecast in our area, so we decided to pull over and seek shelter while we waited out the storm. The moment we exited the highway, all visibility was lost. Without the guiding taillights of a car in front of us, we immediately careened off the road and became mired in thick mud over 6 inches deep. 

We didn't realize it at the time, but we had exited into a construction zone. The van was stuck up to its axles in thick mud. When we opened the door to access the situation, the mud was level with our door frame.

We made every effort to free ourselves: we tried to move the van forward or backward, and dug in the mud with our hands in an attempt to free the tires. When this didn’t work, Nathan trudged up the slope to the highway to flag down help from passing cars. There was so much freezing rain and hail in the air that drivers couldn’t see Nathan even though he stood right next to them on the highway as they drove by. Nathan returned to our van drenched and shivering violently from the freezing rain. Our cell phones were all dead, so we were isolated from the world. 

It was the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a very frightening storm.

We were entirely dependent on the Lord for help. We turned to prayer and fervently asked to be freed from the mud so we could move forward and continue our journey. We tried hopefully to escape again, but had no luck. We prayed several times asking for help moving forward, but we were not able to move the van more than one inch. We were blessed with a strong feeling of peace and as assurance that the Lord heard us, but still we couldn’t solve our problem.

Finally we prayed that perhaps someone could stop and offer assistance so we could at least use their phone to call a tow truck. 

Within 3 minutes a large semi-truck pulled over to investigate. It’s funny, but he didn’t actually intend to help us when he originally pulled over. He was convinced we were someone else who had bumped into his truck on the highway, so he had already called the police and help was already dispatched our way. We were also able to use his phone to call for a tow truck.

While we waited hours for help (remember, we were really in the middle of nowhere!) the storm passed and dawn began to light up the sky. As the light slowly crept upon us, we were able to finally see our predicament. 

The Spirit told me to Look and Learn.

Directly in front of our van- less than two feet away!- was a vertical drop off into a deep puddle of water. The Lord had seen what we were blind to. If we had moved forward just a little bit, the steep drop would have damaged our axles and the water would have entered the cabin of the van. We would have been trapped in a desperate situation. The Lord had surely heard our prayers, but was wiser than us and LOVINGLY withheld from granting our ignorant request when we asked to move forward. We were taught a powerful lesson in faith that rainy day.

Faith is trusting the Lord even when we don’t understand. When it seemed like the Lord wasn’t answering our prayers, we maintained our faith in His wisdom even though we couldn’t see His plan. Alma teaches that faith is NOT having a perfect knowledge of things. We are all young in understanding the gospel of Christ and we are all learning new things each day. 

God knows everything even when I foolishly think I know what is best. He sees life's road before us and knows what we need. 

When God's plan don’t seem to make sense, choose to have faith. Choose to trust the Lord. While you may not have all the answers you seek, focus on what you Do know. Hold tight to the knowledge you DO have. 

In the words of Elder Holland's great discourse, "I am not asking you to pretend to have faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have.Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage that is an honest ddeclaration of faith. It in not! Be as candid about your questions as you need to be; life is full of them on one subject or another. But don't let those questions stand in the way of fiath working its miracle." Read the entire talk HERE.

I didn't know why the Lord wasn’t granting my requests, but I had faith that He was watching over us and He knew what was best for our situation. In time, His wisdom was revealed to us, and we received understanding. 

When I don’t know answers to tough gospel questions, I use the powerful aid of my faith to bridge the gap and MOVE ON, partaking of the blessings of the gospel as I wait for further knowledge. 

We all will face situations or questions that challenge our faith. This is what the Lord intended, as clearly evidenced in the book of Third Nephi, where the prophet Nephi is commanded by the Lord not to write all things in order to try the people’s faith.

Honestly acknowledge your questions and concerns, but start with what you already know. Begin in faith because all things are possible to them that believe.

Faith is given gladly to ANYONE who seeks it, but it is not obtained without thought or effort. It must be sought after and developed. The scriptures use action words to discuss faith- ASK and ye shall receive, KNOCK and it shall be given to you. 

Remember first and foremost- faith is a choice. We control it by our actions. Faith is increased as we follow the teachings of Christ. As a result, we are responsible for our faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. Alma taught our faith needs constant nourishment, like a young tree.

How are you caring for your faith? 

Ask yourself- Am I nourishing my faith multiple times a day so it can flourish, or am I content to let my faith barely subsist on once-a-day feedings? 

How can we increase our faith? 

Faith is a gift of God bestowed as a reward for personal righteousness. We can build our faith by diligently searching the scriptures, praying to the Lord, serving others, worshiping regularly, and obeying God's commandments. Increase faith by delving into the word of God more than once a day, praying several times throughout the day by carrying a prayer in your heart, and striving to keep the Lord on your mind as you go about your day seeking service opportunities.

Let’s consider the parable of the Tree of Life from The Book of Mormon. Nephi says, “They did press forward through the mist of darkness, CLINGING to the iron rod, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

The iron rod can represent faith, for faith is what leads us to follow Jesus Christ's’ example and seek eternal life. 

Listen to the choice of words. The people aren't casually trailing fingertips along the rod. They’re CLINGING. It’s a committed action that requires dedication and effort, perhaps even concentration. The iron rod led people safely through the mists of darkness to eternal life, just as faith in Christ’s teachings can help us navigate safely through our world today. 

However, we are not forced to be faithful, just as the people in Lehi’s vision were not forced to follow the iron rod. God gives us our agency. The choice is ours. Choose to let faith guide your daily choices.. Pray to the Lord in faith, and you’ll know what to do. Christ Himself said, "Be not afraid, only believe."

Furthermore, you have more faith than you think you do because of what the Book of Mormon calls “the greatness of the evidences.” “Ye shall know them by their fruits,” Jesus said, and the fruit of living the gospel is evident in the lives of Latter-day Saints everywhere. As Peter and John said once to an ancient audience, I say today, “We cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard,” and what we have seen and heard is that “a notable miracle hath been done” in the lives of millions of members of this Church. That cannot be denied.

This is a divine work in process, with the manifestations and blessings of it abounding in every direction, so please don’t hyperventilate if from time to time issues arise that need to be examined, understood, and resolved. They do and they will. In this Church, what we know will always trump what we do not know. And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith.

Faith leads to knowledge as we experiment upon the words of God to prove His promises. Through exercising faith, I have felt the Spirit witness to me the truthfulness of many things. 

I testify that Christ lives, that He knows you individually and knows your struggles. I testify that God hears our prayers, whether he answers the way we expect or not. I testify that God’s plan can safely guide us home to Him in heaven if we choose to follow His divine path. I know that following Christ's teachings will bring us indescribable joy and peace. I testify that God chose Joseph Smith, imperfections and all, to restore Christs’ full teachings to the earth. I testify that our prophet, Thomas S Monson is truly God’s chosen servant to guide this church. 

I know these things are true, for I have gained this knowledge after the trial of my faith. My faith has been growing from a tiny seed into a very real power that I feel as a shield, and it protects me from many of the woes in our world. It is one of my most beautiful and treasured possessions, and is a vital part of my identity.

Choose to feed your faith and reap the fruit of blessings and understanding that flow from it. If your faith is weak right now, lean on the faith of valiant friends or ecclesiastical leaders. Have hope. Journey on. Keep the Faith.  Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe.

Let the Holy Spirit Guide

This morning my heart ached in sadness over the deluge of negative news stories from around the globe. It's just too much for me to bear silently. I want to add a positive and uplifting voice to the clamoring, contentious noise in this world, so I'm sharing a story dear to my heart today.

It is with the humble hope of lifting your spirit and boosting your testimony that I share this truly personal narrative.

A few years ago, I was enrolled in nursing school with three young children (ages 5, 3, and 2) to care for. In addition, I was homeschooling my daughter and busy serving in a time-consuming calling in my church. It was during this time of stress, deadlines, and demanding family life that I gained a stronger testimony of the reality of the Holy Ghost and his power to influence our lives.

There are two examples I'd like to share with you that exemplify how the Holy Ghost powerfully impacted me and taught me about God's power to make up for my shortcomings.

The first example involves my attempts to learn and memorize 40 pages of textbook information each day for my Anatomy class. My professor was well-known across several campuses as being a true classroom drill sergeant,  force feeding us information at a break-neck speed and writing tests that were nearly impossible to pass. Tutors would cluck their tongue in sympathy when I told them the name of my professor.

I studied in the precious quiet hours after my children were asleep (often staying up until midnight) or before they woke up each morning. I studied 4-6 hours each day. I hung pages of notes all over my house to help me memorize- they were taped up near the kitchen sink, in my shower, on the bathroom mirror, and even tucked into my  purse to review at stoplights. I played recordings of lectures during my long 2-hour commute to campus. I even took textbooks to the park to read while pushing children on swings.

Even with all this effort, it was discouragingly difficult to retain such an influx of new information each day.

This is where the Holy Ghost stepped in. I noticed that any day I took the time to read my scriptures before studying for class, I had the Spirit with me when I studied, which cleared my mind and helped me grasp concepts much faster than normal. I also remembered information better and spent less time reviewing my notes. I could cover a huge amount of material in a shorter amount of time. This was consistent throughout the semester. It really taught me that if I served the Lord first, He would help me make up the difference.

The next example is more personal and, to me, more sacred.

Some days I would be asked to spend a few hours to serve a needy family from church, and then I'd face a difficult decision. If I chose to take time out of my tightly packed schedule to help someone else, I would lose precious study time. With almost trembling faith I would do what was needed to help the friends in need, then pray extra hard for the Lord to help me in my class work. Many times I prepared a beautiful meal to give a family in need, while my children were given cold cereal for dinner and I ran upstairs to study.

No matter how I tried to rearrange my schedule and make more time for studying, I just couldn't fit any more hours in my day. As I prepared for my first test, I realized with a heavy heart that I hadn't even read (let alone memorized) a full third of the assigned reading. As I quickly leafed through the extra 200 pages, trying to memorize key points and charts in a glance, I knew in my heart it was no use. I couldn't fit one more fact in my frazzled brain that week.

When I arrived at the testing center and received my thick packet of questions, I took a moment at my desk to offer a sincere prayer for help. I had not even looked at a third of the testing material. Even if the stars aligned in my favor and I luckily scored every question correctly in the remaining 2/3 of the test, I would still have a barely passing grade. After pleading silently for the Lord's help, I opened my test with a sigh and began.

Something miraculous happened.

Each time I read a question and pondered the multiple choice options, I felt the Spirit whisper to me which choice was true. He mentally nudged me to the correct answer. The thing that amazed me the most was that I was able to feel the Spirit guide my choices even when I had never even read the topics that were being tested. The Spirit enlightened my mind and testified of truth, guiding my response to every question. I felt awe that this could happen, and humility that the Lord saw fit to answer my prayer.

With a deep sense of gratitude, I finished my lengthy test and awaited the results.

I was amazed to learn I had scored an 'A' on my test! I truly felt like it was a tangible miracle.

I felt the Spirit guide me on all of my tests throughout the semester, helping me earn a good grade in a notoriously difficult course.

These experiences taught me to trust more fully in the Lord and realize nothing is impossible for Him to accomplish.

I also learned "I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me" when I serve Him first and have faith. (Philippians 4:13)

I testify the Holy Ghost is real, that we can feel God's love for us through the Holy Ghost, and that he can touch your life if you seek that blessing.


PS-
I hope your day today is filled with joy in our Savior and moments to enjoy the beauty in your life. Look for the positive things, and you'll find the day overflowing with goodness.

20 Ways to Honor the Sabbath as a Family

Here is another list of activities we choose to do to honor the Sabbath Day:

1- Take dinner to an elderly friend or someone who lives alone. This one is easy- just prepare an extra plate of whatever you are already cooking that day and share it. We did this for a neighbor every week for almost a year and really loved the friendships we developed this way. I would always sit and chat with our neighbor for several minutes before leaving, since nourishing the soul is just as important as providing a nutritious meal.

2- Write letters to missionaries or relatives.

3- Write thank you cards to mail this week. We write cards thanking our teachers from church, our neighbors who served us, our school teachers or the bus driver. It's such a great way to train us in the habit of noticing the ways we are blessed from other people.

4- Read church magazines together as a family.

5- Listen to General Conference talks or CES firesides.

6- Play dough scripturenary. We write scriptural nouns on slips of paper and divide into teams. Each team draws a random slip of paper from the bowl and tries to sculpt that noun with play dough while his team guesses the word. It's a really fun game! Some suggested words could be: Noah's ark, lion's den, angel, sword, fig tree, fish, sheep, dove, temple, Bible, sling, armor of God, etc.

7- Make a treat to share with neighbors or friends. This is a great way to introduce yourself to new people in your area.

8- Use dinner time to discuss what everyone learned in church that day. 

9- Read family journals together. My children love to cuddle with me while I read the pages of my journal, sharing stories from when I was a child.

10- Read ancestral journals together. I love to tell stories from our pioneer ancestors. It really helps us feel connected to our forefathers and provides real examples to strengthen our own character.

11- Make up fictitious stories together. We sit in a circle and begin a story. Each person gets to say 5 sentences to contribute to the plot, then the person to the right gets a turn to add to the story. This goes around the circle with each person adding plot twists or details. It sure makes for interesting narratives!

12- Take a walk or bike ride together as a family. 

13- "Adopt" a grandparent in your area and visit them on Sundays. We are blessed with a talented Texan Grandma who invites our kids over to paint and knit with her. Our kids look forward to this very much and always beg to go to Nana Precious' home.

14- Dramatize scripture stories together. Dress up for your character and consider filming the production to enjoy again another day for a family  movie night.

15- Plan and carry out a family service project. 

16- Plan the FHE lesson for this week.

17- Select a talent you'd like to develop. Set goals for learning the new skill.

18- Listen to reverent classical music all day to invite the Spirit in your home and enrich the soul.

19- Have an object lesson contest in your family. Pick one or two items around the house- any tool or item works- and have everyone come up with a story about how that item can illustrate a gospel principle.

20- Write in a family journal or help younger children write in their personal journals.  Help them reflect on their week and record what is important to them.

You can see even more Sabbath activity suggestions here.

What works in your family? Please share your ideas with us!

Pitbulls, Possums, and Inspiration

 This week was great. 

In my effort to focus more on creating neat memories with our family, I made this sign to welcome our kids off the school bus:

They thought it was so neat! All the kids on the bus were looking out their windows trying to read the sign. Matthew was beaming when he stepped off the bus. I like how the gate to our property makes a perfect billboard space. 

This weekend I had the privilege of filling in for our Relief Society president while she was out of state. I had mixed feelings of inadequacy and honor to fill that position. Just my luck we had an emergency needing urgent attention....what an initiation this was!

In the end, I was very thankful for this opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and grow in new ways. I was taught so much during these past 3 days of time-consuming service. 

I learned a few things-

1- I never want to be a Relief Society president! It's exhausting! How does anyone do this full-time?

2- My heart changed as I helped a sister bear with her heavy trials. I couldn't remove the trial from her life, but the Lord wanted me to provide spiritual comfort. It was humbling to be serving His child during this difficult time in her life.

3- The Lord truly steps in to make up the difference when we serve Him. It was incredible to feel Him guiding my steps when I felt like I was fumbling through the dark due to my inexperience.

4- My respect for our current president increased by leaps and bounds (which I didn't think was possible- I already nearly idolize this woman) as I grew to understand  the physical and emotional demands she deals with every day....but she never shows that burden to others. She is unfailingly cheerful and patient with everyone. Boy, do I have a long way to progress!

Later that day I attended the General Relief Society Broadcast. I look forward to this all year long! I love feasting on the words of Christ. I felt so inspired to become a better person. I felt so loved by the Lord and encouraged in my journey to be more like Him. It was a memorable evening for sure.

In other news, last night we were awoken (again) by frantic squawking from our chickens. 

Nathan ran our to investigate.....I always think it's slightly funny when that happens. There's never time to pull on any clothing other than a pair of galoshes. Are we officially country bumpkins if we chase off predators across the pasture in our unmentionables and boots? I used to mock that behavior in hillbilly movies. Life is ironic, isn't it? It's a good thing we can laugh at ourselves I suppose. 

The predator was too fast for us, but not fast enough for Bella. 

We heard the bones crunch. There's officially one less possum in Texas. She's such a great farm dog! 

Speaking of dogs, I forgot to share my pitbull story here. If you know me on Facebook, you've already heard this, so I won't be hurt if you leave now.

Our neighbors own pit/lab mix and he keeps coming into our pasture and killing chickens. This has been going on for a looong time. This week he was back again. He tried to run home with a rooster in his mouth, but I caught up to him. 

He wouldn't drop the bird even after I kicked him in the ribs. The bird was still alive and I wanted to get it safely away before those canine jaws squeezed the life out of him. There were no rocks or sticks within reasonable distance, and kicking hadn't worked, so I punched him as hard as I could on the head. 

That worked.

He dropped the bird in shock and I rescued it before taking this dog back to its owners (again). 

The good news is the rooster is fine. The bad news is I really hurt my hand and had to wrap it up over the weekend before I could get into the doctors office for x-rays. 

The good news is everyone at the doctors office was impressed and thought I was gutsy and sassy for punching a pitbull in the head. The bad news is I had to tell our neighbors we were buying a gun just to shoot their dog the next time he comes over. I felt terrible saying something like that! 

I hope your weekend was lovely! Aren't you excited to welcome October into your lives today? I'm so excited! Pumpkin soup is simmering on my stove....yum!

Better things in life

Sarah and cousins read together on a sunny morning
 (Okay, it has nothing to do with the post- I just love this picture from our summer, that's all)

I've been streamlining my priorities in life and eliminating a lot of the nonessential things to make more space for the things that truly matter. I've been overflowing with joy because of this!

My change came after reading this talk (yet again) and striving to apply it (yet again). Essentially, the point is to stop chasing after 'good' things in life and focus more on things that are even better.

To quote Elder Oaks-

We should begin by recognizing that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

There's one of my problems. I was spending so much time pursuing good things that I was missing the more important parts of life.

I have found myself repeatedly returning to this principle of time management over the past few years. My almost imperceptible baby steps in improvement each year are finally coming to fruition as I look back and see the progress I've made in becoming the type of person I truly want to be.

It makes me giddy and I want to shout: Look! I'm finally improving!

Elder Oaks continues-

We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.

With that in mind, I'm spending more time each day focusing on these three things:

-strengthening my family
-stimulating my own spiritual growth
-serving others 

What did I eliminate? 

Cloth diapers. There's a shocker (totally sarcastic here). The choice to revert back to disposables bought me an extra 5 hours a week since I'm no longer rinsing, washing, line drying, and folding those undies. Yes, I'm not ashamed to admit that I feel liberated.

Home school is off the family plan for this year. (I know, I know.....don't get me started on the turmoil I felt over this decision. That's another story for another day.) While the kids are in public school I can focus on being a better mother rather than a better teacher.

I realized they only have ONE mother in life, and I have certain motherly responsibilities that no one else on earth can fulfill. Anyone can teach my kids to read and write, but only I can teach them how to have faith and integrity. Only I can teach them how to return to Heavenly Father, and that should always be my biggest priority.

I'm focusing more on teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in our home, rather than thinking up lesson plans to instruct geology or math. Yes, I'll admit I do still feel a bit guilty over the choice to public school. Tough luck for me.

I cut out our school commute. Instead of driving into town and waiting in line at two schools twice each day, our kids ride the bus. This bought me an additional 9 hours each week! Now they come home to a welcoming atmosphere and warm muffins waiting on the table next to tall glasses of icy milk. I never had the energy to do things like that when I home schooled. I feel like I'm able to make our HOUSE more of a HOME full of love and encouragement since I'm not tired and cranky from the tedious commute.

In previous years, our baby steps on improvement eliminated television (yup, we have NO cable or even the basic channels) and the following year Netflix was cut (I always felt obligated to watch the DVDs and wasted a lot of time there).

I eliminated "Drivel-and-Tripe" books from my personal reading lists so I could focus on books that were truly worth my time investment (now I prefer to read nonfiction books that teach me something new or fiction that can enrich my life in meaningful ways- Twilight was the first book to be axed from my library that year!).

My days this month have been full of joy and purpose. I'm able to spiritually nourish my children because I've made my own spiritual health a priority (instead of trying to read my scriptures at the very end of the day, when I feel so tired I have to prop open my eyelids with toothpicks). My service to others has enriched my life, bringing satisfaction and meaning to my afternoons. My children are happier because I spend more meaningful time with them and our relationships are getting stronger.


I know almost no one reads this blog, but I hope those of you who do read this will leave with a sense of peace and joy.

My heart wonders about you and your unique struggles.. I hope you feel loved.

I hope your own life is filled with joy because that's the whole point of life- to experience joy. 


Life really is beautiful.

Touring the LDS Conference Center

This year we finally took our kids to the LDS Conference Center for a tour. For those of you not of my particular faith, this building is where the world-famous Mormon Tabernacle Choir performs, and more importantly, this is where our prophet and apostles gather to broadcast General Conference to our members around the world twice each year. It holds a special place in my heart and I was eager to show our children this unique building.

Highlights include-

The children loved entering the huge conference room and 'oohing' over the 21,000 seats and the cavernous size of the room.

The rooftop gardens were surprisingly beautiful.We could scarcely tell we were in downtown Salt Lake City.

The halls of this building are filled with art galleries. We LOVED seeing the originals to many of the paintings we were already familiar with.

Sarah particularly loved the statue collections in the lobby.

Daniel really loved the water fountain- this unique fountain is made from several panels of rippling glass. The water creates the sound of a babbling brook as it rushes over the glass. The sound of rushing water creates a peaceful white noise to fill the large lobbies.

We created wonderful memories and enjoyed exploring someplace new. (And -can you believe it- we toured this place immediately after our long hike from my earlier posts. We didn't even of home and take a nap!)

I'm thankful for the moments like this that we are blessed with. 

When Hearts Fail

I needed to hear this message of peace this week. 

It blessed me, so I wanted to share it with you.

This message is for everyone, no matter what church you attend.

I hope your Sabbath day is delightful.

Feeding the Flocks

What do you do on a Sabbath day during a family reunion? 

After attending church with my parents we skipped over to the beautiful Idaho Falls temple.

After touring the temple grounds and Visitors Center, we headed across the Snake River to play.

We came armed with bags of popcorn to feed the flocks of geese.

My mind is full of frequent memories feeding these flocks throughout my childhood. 

I has such a sentimental stroll down memory lane while I watched my own children enjoy feeding these birds.

After arriving home, we gathered around the piano and sang sacred hymns.

It was so peaceful and so invigorating to hear our voices combine in harmony and swell heavenward with songs of praise. 

My heart was so full today.

Read more about the blessings of LDS temples here.

Touring the Temple

I look forward to visiting the LDS temples whenever we go on vacation.

They are my favorite places on Earth.

My heart is full when my children get to be near a temple.

I love sitting inside, soaking up all the spiritual strength like a little sponge.

It's hard to rip myself away from it anytime we visit.

Words literally can't express my deep feelings about the temple. (Ironic sentence, isn't it?)

I truly wish I could bring all of you to feel what it's like inside. 

All of life's pressing problems are placed in perspective and I feel tangibly surrounded with God's love.

It's beyond description.

For more, watch this video about our temples:

Read more about why we have temples here and here.

The day my life changed forever

Yesterday I aged 5 years in one day. 


Daniel was missing.

He didn't come when I rang the bell for dinner, which is unusual. I realized I hadn't seen him for a long time, so I began searching the house to discover where he might be curled up with a book or asleep under a pile of blankets. A cursory glance of the house didn't yield any results, so we all began searching deeper and calling for him loudly. I checked under every bed, under every couch, in every closet, inside the dryer, even in baskets of clean laundry to see if he burrowed under the clothing. There was nothing...but it was likely he was playing outside in a far corner of the property. I checked all the barns, sheds, and chicken coop and turned up no sign of him. I had been looking for him for almost an hour. This is when I began to feel worried.

Nervously I called my neighbor on the phone. "Did Daniel by chance come over to your house to play without my permission?"

She replied, "He tried to earlier but I asked him to go home and get permission first."

He had never came to me to ask permission. The conversation between Daniel and my neighbor had happend much earlier in the afternoon. That was the last time anyone had seen him.

Our property is completely fenced in, so Daniel would have to walk along the road for a long distance before he could reach our gate and enter the yard. It would be so easy for a passer-by to pause and kidnap him. Usually I go outside and watch my children walk along the road until they reach the safety of our gate, but this time I didn't know he was out there. He was gone. Every parent thinks this will never happen to them, but suddenly it was happening to me. My mind was racing with all the terrible possibilties and I began to tremble as I dialed 911. Darkness was falling rapidly, making it hard to search outside.

I continued to search the house, the garage, the vehicles, everything I could think of where he might be while I talked with the dispatcher. They dispatched 6 deputies out to our home, but it would take a long time for them to arrive. They also said a helicopter with infrared cameras was on its way to help search in the dark. The dispatcher told me I shouldn't have waited so long to call 911....the longer Dan was missing the farther away a kidnapper could get, reducing the chances of finding him. My neighbors searched their property with flashlights in case Daniel had stayed to play in the groves of trees. When they found nothing, they volunteered to begin driving along the country roads looking for him in case he wandered off and became lost.

Inside my house was utter chaos. Children were alternating between praying for help and searching in more hiding places for Daniel. Diego was hungry and crying for food, but there was no way on earth I could handle sitting still and feeding him, so I asked Sarah to feed him pinches of bread. We knelt for a quick (but very heartfelt) prayer begging the Lord to protect Daniel and help us find him.

I called our bishop, asking him to contact local ward members to come help in the search-and-rescue efforts. A calling tree began to notify friends that we needed help, but our friends are all scattered across the countryside so they wouldn't begin arriving for another 15 minutes. I also called my mother-in-law with this quick message, "Please pray for our family! Daniel's missing and the police are looking for him, he may have been kidnapped- we don't know. Just pray for him, we need all the prayers we can!" Left with that unnerving message, she began to call all our extended family to ask for immediate prayers for Daniel. I also called Nathan on his cell phone and told him what was going on. He wouldn't arrive home for another 30 minutes.It was a living nightmare to be dealing with this situation alone...without my other half, my strength, my dear husband.

I couldn't leave my house and help search for him because officers were calling me on the phone, asking his description so it could be posted to police departments across the state. Weeping quietly I took his photo out of a frame so they could use it in identifying him. I felt numb...my actions were strangely mechanical. Daniel had been missing for several hours. My heart was full of silent prayer the entire time, begging the Lord to watch over my son.

While I updated an officer, my sister called to chat. It went something like this: "Hi Renae! Is this a good time to talk?" I spoke quickly, "Actually no. I have to go, Daniel's missing and the police are here." What a great conversation, right? She began calling more extended family to update them.

This was all happening so quickly, but it seemed to take an eternity. In this moment, I learned a powerful lesson. I realized that I would happily trade anything for my son's safety: my possessions had absolutely no value compared to him. I didn't care if I had to sell everything (even our home) and live in a tiny apartment for the rest of my life. Family matters more than anything. It's strange how crystal-clear this thought was in my mind.

Another strange occurrence was the 'movie' playing in in my mind. People speak of seeing their life flash before their eyes. Oddly I was seeing Daniel's life flashing through my mind. His fistfuls of feathers, his love of animals, his cherished rock collection, his passion for music, his gusto for life.

I was talking with an officer outside when Sarah and Matthew came running out of our home shouting, "Daniel's here! We found him! We found Daniel!" Words can't possibly describe the relief and joy that washed over me. Maybe 'washed' is too gentle of a word. It's more like I was hit by a tidal wave of relief.

We ran inside and found him inside the tiniest cupboard on one of our bookcases. I never would have thought he could possibly fit more than half of his body in there. He evidently had crammed his body in this cubby and closed the door on himself, then fallen asleep. I believe the wood muffled our calls when we were looking for him.

I learned several things in this experience. Most importantly, I was given a powerful eternal perspective. My life seemed crystal clear, with all threads of doubt or indecision wiped away. I knew that God would lift me up if this burden was too heavy for me to bear alone. Event though my heart was breaking when I thought Daniel was stolen, I knew I could rely on our Savior's atonement to heal my pain. I realized that Christ doesn't only heal the affliction resulting from sin, He has power to heal any anguish from any infliction.

I realized on a deeper level how important my children are to me. The 'stuff' we own is all icing on the cake of life, but it's all worth absolutely nothing eternally.

I also was taught a powerful lesson of peace from my sweet husband. After he arrived home, he held me close and spoke soothingly. He pointed out that even if Daniel had been kidnapped and died, our family was sealed for eternity in God's holy temple. We know we would have been with Daniel again. It's amazing how much this comforted my heart.


God lives. He hears our prayers and knows our hearts. Surprisingly, I'm thankful for this harrowing experience. The Lord has taught me so much. Most of what I learned cannot be framed in words....it was a spiritual schooling.


Your family matters. Make sure you let them know.


Cherish every moment with your loved ones. You never know when your time with them will be gone.

Quilting Bee

Some friends from our congregation lost their home in the wildfires plagueing our area. The house burnt to the ground. The family had no insurance and lost everything. They were out of town when it happened.

In the course of one week, our congregation collected all the necessities for starting a new life in a new home. We filled a couple of storage units with furniture, clothing, bedding, kitchen supplies, etc. Sarah and I were also able to participate in a quilting bee where 4 new quilts were made for the children. I loved watching her learn to tie quilts alongside older women in our ward. What a priceless way to learn new skills.

Our friends returned to town to find a home in ashes. They also found hundreds of friends rallying around them in loving support, providing everything they need to start over.

Isn't it amazing what the true love of Christ will accomplish?  This is the way Heavenly Father would have us show our love for Him: serving His children.

Peace isn't an illusion

I spent a lot of time the past two months looking for peace. I learned some things. First of all, I learned what peace ISN'T.

Peace is not a spotlessly clean house.

Peace is not a quiet house.

Peace is not a perfectly toned body.

Peace is not cute clothes to fit my post-pregnancy body.

Peace is not reading alone for a couple hours.

Peace is not creating art.

Peace is not a perfect relationship with my kind husband.

I found myself chasing illusions, trying to find my inner peace whilst I struggled with depression that I couldn't control. I had thought that if I could control my environment, then perhaps I would feel peace. Hence the obsession with a spotless house, a quiet house, my own appearance, and activities to fill my time productively with projects.

I realized that I couldn't find true peace on my own. I turned to the Lord in prayer and He gently reminded me of things I had forgotten. 

True peace comes from our Savior, Jesus Christ. That's the secret. It really has nothing to do with my environment. I think Corrie Ten Boom explains this concept so well in her book "The Hiding Place". In the middle of a Nazi concentration camp, her sister was still able to feel immense peace because of her testimony of Jesus Christ.

Our Savior lives, and we can be MADE PERFECT through His Atonement. Isn't that AMAZING?! Little me, the one who always feels inadequate, can be perfect through Christ. 

This is reason enough to sing in joy every day. This brings immense peace. Nothing else really matters. 

Good For a Laugh. I hope you have a blessed day!

Greatest compliments

Last week was a wonderful week. My brother and his family were moving to San Antonio from Wisconsin, and they stayed one night with us along their way. It was such a treat to see my brother and his sweet wife! That same night, two college students from Estonia knocked on our door asking for a place to stay for the night. We had a delightfully packed house. Philip's family was in Rachael's room, so Rachael slept on the couch downstairs, and the two Estonian girls (Lena and Marike) slept on the floor on air mattresses.

 I had been praying for meaningful ways to serve lately, and I feel like Lena and Marike were the answer to that hopeful prayer. They had no lodging (what sort of business takes foreign exchange students and drops them off to do door-to-door sales without even arranging lodging? Only a bad one.) so we had them stay with us for a few days while they figured things out. They were in a pretty bad spot with this job, so we gave them ideas for other employment and tried to help them.

It was hard for me to watch their distress and exhaustion. It was so very difficult for them to decide whether to stay with this job or try their luck at something better. I realized what an incredible blessing it is for me to know that I can pray and ask God if my decision is really what is best for me, and He will answer. It gives me such peace to know that I can let God direct my path, and I will be happy. When Nathan and I consider any job offer, or career change, we always ponder it and ask God if it is right. I realized this week that I've never stressed about decisions like that....I receive incredible confidence from God's affirmations. I think I had taken for granted how priceless it is to have open access to the world's best advisor in all my decisions in life. 

 Our children thought it was an extended party to have visitors who weren't extended family members. I found myself caring very much about these ladies, and I wanted so badly to help them see themselves as priceless and beautiful daughters of God. I prayed so much that our home would be a blessing to them, that they would feel the peace of the Spirit and the love encircling them. That is my goal always....to have my home be a haven of peace in this tumultuous world. I try very hard to help our home have a distinct warmth and joy. It's hard for me to gauge how well I am doing with creating a spiritual atmosphere, so I asked the girls how they felt in our home. They had been talking about it every day and were eager to share their thoughts.
These are some of the greatest compliments I've ever been given:

"It's like a fairy-tale Christmas story....seeing you do family prayer together is amazing. You are like the perfect family." (of course I protested at this...we have a lot of problems just like anyone else)

"It's so different and so cultured in this home, I love all the books, and art, and music. I feel like I was broken emotionally and depressed when I arrived at your home, and I feel like you just fixed me and built me up and gave me so much joy. "

"I've never been in a house like this. It's the most wonderful place, like it's warm and peaceful."

"You have such a happy family and I want my family to be like yours. You're home is so welcoming and happy and so different than any other house I've been in. I never want to leave."


They had asked for help from their managers, so they were assigned a spot in a new host family. We were actually sad to see them go. I cared for them so much, so we invited them to come back again for a week in September. The children were very sad to see Marike go, and they all trailed her outside to hug her good-bye and ask her to come visit again.

When they left, I gave them a copy of some calligraphy I had designed a couple years ago. It has the Beatitudes from President Gordon B. Hinckley. I explained how it reminds me how to live a happy life, no matter what situation I find myself in. I wanted so much to give them a copy of his book, Way to Be, but I had loaned my book out to someone and it wasn't ever returned. Perhaps I can procure a copy of it before I see them again. 

I 

Motherhood is an eternal partnership with God

Check this video out for the weekly uplifting message. 

I love it.

Home School Field Trip in Pictures

We began with a stop at our LDS temple in San Antonio so we could pick up Nathan, who had spent the morning serving with the youth inside. It was so nice to let the children explore the temple grounds for a bit and enjoy the beautiful flowers and fountains, especially after being cooped up in the car.

The highlight of the trip was a visit to the San Antonio Missions National Park. We visited the San Jose mission, which was built in 1690. I love visiting National Parks. They are such fantastic teaching tools for our children! The Junior Ranger Programs are so educational, but they are also fun. My children love getting the booklet and completing all of the activities. They have so much more fun at parks that offer Junior Ranger programs because the activities require the children to be more observant and think about what they are seeing. I love it! Last summer we had planned our summer vacation around visiting several national Parks in the Southwest, and it was so memorable for our kids. At the Grand Canyon they were asked so sit at the edge of the canyon and write down what they could hear, smell, and see. At Carlsbad Caverns they drew pictures of their favorite stalactite formations. It's so much fun.

On the way home we stopped in South Austin at the Big Top Candy Shop. It's a fun vintage-style candy shop with all sorts of old-fashioned sweets mingled with new trendy treats. It's very fun, and worth the trip. The strangest item we found was candied scorpions and cheese-fried larvae. The bugs are real. Hmmm. We settled on letting everyone select their favorite things from the bulk bins of 'normal' candy- gumballs, chocolates, taffy, etc. All in all, it was a long, but memorable day.